Monday, August 31, 2009

Crime Scene

At approximately 1800 on Friday, August 28, Witness #1 discovered the following crime scene:

The victim has been identified as James Bartlett, 2 weeks, Avon.

One suspect has been identified:

Officers responded to a break-in in progress later to discover an attempted break-in and homicide. Paw prints on the counter and floor confirmed the suspects. Upon arrival of the emergency medical team, the victim was originally to be transported into a plastic baggie, where he was going to be returned to Petsmart for our refund of $2.99. Emergency Medical crew were surprised when, upon the attempt of scooping the victim up with a plastic cup, the victim exhibited signs of life by squirming and scaring the crap out the response crew, The Boy and His Brother. The victim has been transported and placed in ICU with a critical prognosis.

These suspects are considered to be armed and dangerous and should not be apprehended.

Friday, August 21, 2009

State Fair 2009

I have been dreading posting this because it just bores me to tears. I mean I love the fair, I really do... but the spouse has an agenda of stuff I really could care less about. But, that's okay, it's all about compromises. I keep thinking to myself, I gotta get that state fair post up on the blog. Now really, if I don’t post it, what difference will it make? Someone will call me and go, what about the fair? Did you go? We haven't seen it on the blog. No, I only have four readers and no one is going to question the blog. And as I said, it's my blog and you're not the boss of me. I put too much pressure on myself sometimes. Anyway, yes, of course we went to the fair. I’m sure you can check the archives for the State Fair post of 2008 where I looked at 42 quilts and a tractor parade and the guy who was desperately trying to sell fried veggies. Well, we did it again this year, and yes, we did win a Spiderman before it was all said and done.

As we’re going into the building he says, “OK Em... FINE... we can go look at the quilts if you want to...” all with a giddy grin on his face. It’s like watching paint dry, folks. One quilt, 87 quilts, they all look the same to me. He’s trying to get The Boy into it. He’s not buying it. There were games to be played and rides to be ridden and junk food to be had. The Boy knows this.

Then I realize I need pictures for the blog and I said, "Now stand next to Aunt Edna's quilt so I can get a picture for her..."

His Brother did this. I was jealous. Looking at quilts does that to you.

BSU Class of 2024 - another year closer!

$20 got us this, and saved us all from a massive argument:

THEN he had to tell His Brother he won a Spiderman.

Until next year. I can’t wait to see the quilts.

A new family member.

Meet James. The Boy won him at the fair. Instead of taking home a fish in a baggie, I sweet-talked the Carnie into just refilling the basket of ping pong balls in exchange for not taking a fish. I know a guy who can get us one pretty cheap, I said, with a slight point to my significant other.

His Brother gets baptized

We had His Brother baptized on August 9. My sister and her kids came into town because she is Dylan’s godmother, and we had so many family and friends to help us celebrate. I even had two friends from Chicago and friends from Kokomo come! We are truly blessed in a lot of ways.

His Brother was great - smiled at the priest and didn’t cry at all! It was like he knew what was going on and that he had to be a good boy. It was awesome to watch my second child begin his spiritual journey with so many people there to help guide and support him throughout his lifetime.

With my sister being here, that meant all six grandchildren were reunited. Total chaos. They had a blast though and we started referring to them in birth order as numbers. Numbers #4 and #5 (Nathan and Olivia) were best friends and worst enemies, but mostly best friends. #6 (His Brother) held his own and was, most times, best of show. It was fun to have them around and we miss them!

He crashed in the car seat within about four seconds of us getting in the car. Poor guy!

Someone get Guinness on the phone.

Remember my post about two loose teeth? Guess what?

We're in the van yesterday driving home and I was on the phone. As soon as I hung up The Boy says "Mom, I lost a tooth." I look in the rearview mirror and he's got his hand stretched out to me - I said are you serious? He says YEP and has a tiny tooth in his hand with blood dripping out of his mouth! WHILE I'm DRIVING! I couldn't believe it! Kyle says, well is it bleeding badly? Can you see the other one coming in? I said I don't know, I'm driving! Ask Dylan, he's back there with him! The one next to it was loose too, and about two hours later we had this:

My dear friend Suzanne said it best: "This has gone from cute to uncomfortable." Exactly! With the first tooth it was aw... how cute... he lost his first tooth... and with the second one, I was slightly creeped out.

He's 4 1/2 years old. Two lost teeth. So not only is he a big boy...he's growing up faster than he should, which I don't think is really fair. So of course this morning at school was a big deal - he had to announce it to everyone and he's the first member of Miss Katie's "Lost Tooth Club." Big stuff going on.

He talks with a little lisp now which is cute! Another reminder that he's still a little boy, but he's getting bigger. Quick. And while we're on the topic, a few more one liners:

-We have a birthday party this weekend and bought a gift. It was still in the bag and The Boy says, "Mom, you need to make that gift look like a present" (meaning, you need to wrap it). He constantly does this to me - reminds me of things I need to do or how to handle things, like I don't have enough people on my keester doing that. So I said, I know, I will when we get home. He goes, "You could probably use that red bag we have in the basement. I think it will fit in there." And we do, we have a pile of gift bags in the basement. Thanks... I'll get right on that.

-Yesterday it was pouring down rain on my way to work and I couldn't find my raincoat so I put on a ballcap just to keep my hair dry. I ran His Brother into the sitter and got back in the car. The Boy says, "Mom, you need to take that hat off. You look crazy." I said, I just had it on since it was raining. The Boy: "Well, it's not raining in the car."

-His Brother learned to make noises with his mouth. He also shakes his head side to side in the "no" motion. So he was doing both of these at the same time and I asked The Boy if it was him making the noises.
me: Boy, is that you?
The Boy: No it's not, it's Dylan.
(Dylan is shaking his head back and forth)
me: Boy, he is saying no, it isn't him.
The Boy: MOM! It IS him! He's lying!

-Sally came to visit His Brother before she takes a trip for a week. The two boys stayed with her while I ran to the store. The Boy was eating Cheeze Its and Sally asked if she could have one.
Sally: Those look good, can I have one?
The Boy: Sure.
Sally: Thank you for sharing. Can I have another one?
The Boy: Okay. But make that your last one.

It just never ends at our house.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

His Brother loves Ice Cream

My first attempt at posting a video. We gave His Brother some ice cream at the state fair... he didn't want to give the spoon back!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Brusha brusha brusha...

The Boy doesn’t stop.

I took him to the dentist last night. He loves going and loves talking about teeth and toothbrushes and toothpaste. Turns out the has THREE loose teeth! Dr. Tom said that’s almost unheard of, especially in a boy, and asked me if he’d ever taken a serious blow to the face. Not that I recall... nothing so serious that I would expect teeth to be loose! I mean he’s a boy... he’s constantly running and falling and hurting himself. So after a series of x-rays he found the culprits - two teeth on the bottom trying to shove their way through, making those baby ones loose. The top one, well, he did chip that one when he was not quite two, so we’ll see who falls out first. Let’s just say he’s beyond excited, and I’m trying to explain that the Tooth Fairy *might* not come to our house, because these are tough economic times and after last night’s visit, she has to save up for braces now.

-We were in the car today talking about seeing his cousins Sophie and Olivia tonight. He goes, “Mom, I haven’t seen Sophie in WEEKS.”

-He was asking me why they live in Florida. I said, well, her dad, Uncle B, got a job there. Remember when we moved to Chicago? That’s because Daddy got a job there. He goes, “Oh yeah... that was when we lived outta town.”

-After our trip to the dentist, I told him we had to run to Target to get formula for Dylan. He goes, “well how many ounces did he last eat?”

-I told him I went to the grocery and he was asking what all I got. I told him I got stuff to make tacos and he goes, “Daddy’s gonna be GIDDY.”

More to come. His Brother gets baptized this weekend and I can only imagine what will be next out of his mouth. With or without the teeth

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


Okay. Wow. I had no idea THAT many people read my blog, but apparently you lurkers are out there. So, after receiving a jillion emails about people wanting access to it, I decided not to go private. Just don’t try to steal my kids, okay? I mean you can try to find me and come beat me up, but I can probably hold my own and take you on. Now my kids, please just don’t try to steal them. They’re good kids for me but probably wouldn’t be that good for you. So it wouldn’t really be worth it.

So disregard the previous post and keep enjoying the Bartlett Blog. It’s nice to know we have a faithful following. We’re working on getting our own reality TV show. Hollywood’s been calling and the script obviously writes itself.

While we’re speaking of “disregarding” the previous post, I’ve got more from The Boy:

-I’m not sure if I posted this earlier, but he’s got a good line for when he doesn’t want me to tell someone something. Another reason I keep this blog - he’s not always wanting me to tell everyone and their brother the funny things he says. So if it’s between the two of us, he’ll say, “Mom, don’t forget, mum’s the word.” Now this also works if he says something he’s not supposed to say. For example, there is a word that is referenced to a part of the male anatomy which also references a piece of sporting equipment used in that game where you run around a diamond, also used in the game of soccer, it rhymes with “falls.” He likes to use that word on occasion. This is part of having boys; as I’ve now found out, things like that word are funny. All the time. So every now and then he’ll say the word and then go, “Mum’s the word,” as if that excuses him from saying it.

-And instead of saying “never mind...” he’ll go, “OH... okay mom... disregard.”

-We were trying to pick out a movie last night and I mentioned Home Alone because he likes Christmas movies. He goes, “Nah... that movie gives me the creeps.”

-He wanted me to fix a Lego piece and I was feeding His Brother. I said, I can fix it if you hold his bottle, so he handed me the piece and then held the bottle. He goes, “Dylan, now would be a REALLY good time for you to start holding your own bottle.”

-We were watching some show where they were talking about the New York subway system. He asked about the Subway in “Imbly-app-olis.” I told him we don’t have a subway here, but we had a train in Chicago, and the subway is like a train but it goes underground. It went like this.

Me: We don’t have subways here.
The Boy: Yes, we do.
Me: No, we don’t, we had a train in Chicago but not a subway.
The Boy: Yes, we do. There’s one right by my school, it has a yellow roof.
Remember Mom? When I went to Peter Rabbit? (He meant Subway, the
sandwich shop)

And there you have it.