Monday, August 31, 2009

Crime Scene

At approximately 1800 on Friday, August 28, Witness #1 discovered the following crime scene:

The victim has been identified as James Bartlett, 2 weeks, Avon.

One suspect has been identified:

Officers responded to a break-in in progress later to discover an attempted break-in and homicide. Paw prints on the counter and floor confirmed the suspects. Upon arrival of the emergency medical team, the victim was originally to be transported into a plastic baggie, where he was going to be returned to Petsmart for our refund of $2.99. Emergency Medical crew were surprised when, upon the attempt of scooping the victim up with a plastic cup, the victim exhibited signs of life by squirming and scaring the crap out the response crew, The Boy and His Brother. The victim has been transported and placed in ICU with a critical prognosis.

These suspects are considered to be armed and dangerous and should not be apprehended.


cocoelff said...

Oh James! I'll be holding a candlelit vigil this week for you. HANG IN THERE BUDDY!

Elff said...

A prayer circle at the annual fish fry (oops sorry for the scare James) was held Tuesday night at Holy Waters of the Swamp Church at 12th & MLK Dr. ........only time will heal thy slimy soul, James .....